... and this one started way before this. Okay 5 years, tops. 2009 for documentary purposes.
An Experience.. A Quest.. A Morphing.. The Search for Pain-Free. It only REALLY starts when you hate it enough to Change it. So here we are.
The pain did not start until 2009, maybe 2010 - it was subtle, but gaining steadily.
The abdomen.. slowly gaining to rapidly there - when did THAT happen??
The Excuses:
Arthritis runs in the family - yer lucky you made it this far
Everyone gains weight the older they get - this is normal
The Reality:
The body has pain and swelling, and the diet is so healthy and the calories so on-spot, that I should be back to my birth weight by now.
Instead.. Joint Stiffness, and inability to budge a pound of Buddah Belly pudge.
This sucks.
The Quest Begins:
Logically, garbage in, garbage out - you are what you eat, so what the hell are you eating?? Why HEALTHY of course!!!.. but are you really...
Your body is your vehicle, your mode of transportation - it gets you where you need it to - until it starts not to.
Food is your fuel, it's what keeps the vehicle running - and the type of fuel will either cause the vehicle to run Great - or run like Crap.
Would you KNOWINGLY fill your vehicle up with BAD fuel? Heck no! You can't risk damaging your vehicle! That sucker is expensive, and you ain't got extra money to shell out in repairs to fix it.
Same goes for your body. Your body IS Valuable, it is the only one you got, and it IS expensive to fix what goes wrong - so WHY put bad food in yer pie hole on purpose at the risk of damaging your vehicle. You know what I'm talking about.
There is also a point where the vehicle/body has been damaged beyond repair. Game over. The game is going to be over soon enough, lets make it to the end as pain-free as possible.
I'm eating healthy, right? I'm a food ho, I love food. I was anti-processed food WAY before it was cool, I'm all about the Fresh, I even prefer homemade so I know exactly what I'm eating... I don't put the naughty foods in my pie hole... no sodas, no bags of snacks, no toxic substances... (okay I love my glass of wine with dinner - but it's just ONE... unless I stop counting) - so what IS the problem?? WHY do I have pain? WHY is my abdomen bloated? Why can I not lose a pound of weight to save my soul?
The Friend:
We all got that one friend that tells you something, that just doesn't resonate immediately, but they keep repeating it without a logic you can understand. Logic, it's what makes the World rotate in the correct sequence right? Okay that's the nerd in me.
Chickie.. her name is Chickie. Stop eating dairy she says, dairy is bad for you she says - but WHY... and Nooooooo!!! I LOVE my Trader Joe's cheeses! I Love my sour cream on tacos! Black Bean Soup would be lost without it.. And Greek Vanilla Honey Yogurt??? They SAY it's Healthy for you!! Make her stop saying those mean things about my cow juice.
*Beach House Painting by Chickie*
Chickie has leaned toward the realm of the Macrobiotic way of eating btw.. okay so what the heck IS that??
Launch the Investigation:
Logically... (there's that word again) ... The Search for "what foods reduce inflammation" is logical - Yes? Of course it is! Food can hurt you, food can heal you - I know because I've owned that book for years! Do I really read it? That's beside the point. I own it. I do most everything through osmosis, until it requires effort. *it's the denial in me*
Apparently loosing the Buddah Belly by osmosis is not working for me, and that sucks. Gone is the day when I could just THINK pounds away, easily dropping weight on a whim. My whim has flown the coop.
The Trip to the Bookstore:
Okay NOW we're serious right? Now we're gonna get some answers! Well not really. I rely on osmosis remember? Just BEING in the bookstore is a step.
I'm a cookbook ho, even bigger than a food ho - I Loves me a good cookbook!! Ya gotta have PICTURES of course, because we all eat with our eyes. SHOW me why this book is gonna be so dang yummy - don't bore the nips off me with your bland page after page of blahblah.
Macrobiotic.. Chickie said so after all, and Chickie is pretty spot on. Okay she's psychic, but whatever. It's a place to start.
I find "A" book on Macrobiotics, the only one in stock - and I snag it for my own. I also succumb to the temptation of a book on Kale recipes.. because I've been reading how GOOD kale is for you yaddayadda, yet I have no clue how to fix it. Recipes! Now I have Recipes!!
I even bought a bundle of kale.. which eventually went yellow in my refrigerator. Cooking through osmosis does not work, but it does make a lot of food in your fridge go bad. *i hate when that happens*
Then I Got Squirreled:
Or maybe it was destiny.. you know that Shamanistic Guide we all have hovering around us to throw in our path things we need to see?.. Well my Shaman Guide has their work cut out for them.
I was reading all these book titles... looking for anything that resonated... and BAM look at THAT! What a damn tacky title, and who picked out the color scheme for the front of that book?? Fire them!
The book - "The Virgin Diet". I instantly hated the title, too cheeky - it annoyed the prudish side in me (which btw exists nicely with my ho side). And then there was that skinny blonde on the front. What Ev-ah! Still I picked it up to look inside it, because basically I'm an open-minded prude that knows I can be proven wrong - and I was.
So I'm not always easily convinced, with logic comes skepticism. Any "thing" of potential merit requires checking out for yourself. You can't believe everything you read (unless you're reading THIS of course then every bit of it is TRUE).
What sucked me in... was NOT the tacky book title, or the skinny blonde on the front... it was a chart she listed inside the book on her List "DUMP THE DAIRY, KEEP THE CALCIUM - the Top 10 Bone Health Foods" ... get outta town! I can get my calcium without dairy?? I want to know this.
I'm getting old.. I GOTTA keep calcium in my body for bone health - and Milk-Does-A-Body-Good right?? *okay so I didn't actually drink milk, but we're talkin' dairy forgawdsakes*
Chickie said stop eating dairy, right? Okay well she'd BEEN saying it, but like I listen to everything right away. It's a process.
Okay well the list haunted me... So I went back to the bookstore to capture a picture of it on my phone. I didn't need the book right? It was the concept I was leaning toward.. I didn't need the darn book right? I go home.
The Investigation on this Virgin Diet book:
I Love My Google. So I go home and actually start checking out this Virgin Diet book online - and I'm immediately struck with the concept point that it is eliminating foods that CAUSE inflammation.. which of course was the REVERSE of what I'd been looking for in terms of "what foods can I eat to reduce inflammation". *Interest Captured*
Also - it turns out the Author of the book is NAMED J.J. Virgin, and apparently a well known Nutritionist. If I had owned a TV this past decade, I'd probably have known that. Okay so she used her NAME as a marketing ploy for the book. *argh* Can't blame her for that, but still - who designed that book cover?!? *bleh* Okay I'm a visual ho as well.
Then there was YouTube:
Well I'm not just going to READ about it, I'm a visual ho remember?? I find a bunch of YouTube videos on The Virgin Diet of course, the whole promotional mumbo jumbo you'd expect. Sure she's out to make a living by doing this, good for her, but you do have to glean past that to get to the good stuff, much like clearing away the pond surface goo to get to the good water.
The video that sold it for me.. was an interview J.J. Virgin did with Drew Canole (no I don't know him either), but the interview quickly cut through the pond goo and got to the real information.
Hook, line, and sinker -
THIS MAKES SENSE
The Inflammation:
I already thought I ate so darn healthy that it couldn't GET any better - yet obviously I didn't know squat. I accepted the Doctor's diagnosis that I had Osteoarthritis, even though he never actually performed any tests or examined me, and was 10ft away from me the entire conversation - he must KNOW right?
Arthritis is a severely debilitating problem in my family's history - it was just a matter of time before it got me too right?
According to the J.J. Virgin book - No.
Give up WHAT?!?:
J.J.'s book is based on actual information obtained from her involvement with studies done on real people, .. (as opposed to fake people right?) ... In listening to the video of what J.J was relaying, and how removing certain foods from people's diets, caused an impressive improvement in many things.. specifically in what I was looking for also - inflammation and weight management... a List of the Top 7 Foods to eliminate out of your diet evolved.
What ARE those 7 Foods?:
Of course that's the first thing you wanna know right? What the heck Foods makes people swell up, that once removed - immediately shows positive results of reduced pain, swelling and weight?? Yer darn right I wanna know!!
- DAIRY
- EGGS
- CORN
- SOY
- GLUTEN
- SUGAR/SWEETENERS
- PEANUTS
Hmmmmm:
Okay, well my dairy really was limited to cheese, sour cream and yogurt - so yeah, for less pain I can let those go.
Eggs, sure I ate one a day for breakfast - but that's because the protein is supposed to be Good for you right? I can switch to something else just to see.
Corn - EASY I thought.. I don't eat corn.
Soy - EASY I thought.. I don't really use soy.
Gluten - Okay you ain't fooling me, this means bread and my beloved pasta. I am so gonna hate this part.
Sugar/Sweeteners - So I already had evolved to nothing but Turbinado Raw Sugar.. (I view fake sugars like toxic poison) but I can see letting it all go, not that big of a deal.
Peanuts - Should be easy enough, I'll just dip my celery in hummus instead. No problemo.
WADDYAMEAN The Book is Sold Out???:
Yes, I went back to the Bookstore to BUY The Virgin Diet Book.. and it was sold out. The online order went in and the wait for the Postal Service began.
Meanwhile I'd read enough online that I felt I had a good concept of what I needed to do - so why wait for the book? - Lets get started!!
So I know how I am.. if it's in the house I'll wanna use it. Why waste?.. it's here lets eat it. So it all had to go.
June 9, 2013 - D-Day... not planned, I just got up and did it. Going through the cupboards.. I grabbed that big recycling bag, and started pulling things out of the cupboard that had to go. Reading every label.. and the shock set in.
EVERYTHING has corn or soy in it!!!!!!!!!!! Remember?? The TWO items I thought would be breezy easy to eliminate - were The HARDEST to avoid!!!
Now I'm in Survival Adventure Mode:
Okay but I'm calling it Morphing. I had not even got the book yet but was already starting to eliminate the 7 Naughty Foods - and boy has The Adventure began! I'm not Officially ON the 21 day challenge YET, but I'm Morphing into it now that I've got the book and I'm reading it as fast as I can. Minus the repetitive hype, it's a good read.
The STATS:
Before launching into the details.. Lets get the STATS down. I Love STATS.
In the past 5 years.. I've increased a good 4 inches all over my abdomen - easily, more in other spots - which has been entertaining and annoying all at once.
My bust size went from a 34 to a 40 - and Thank God I didn't pay for fake boobs because the real ones are rather annoying. I hate shopping, so smashing "the girls" into my sports bra feels just like that. Smashing.
My waist.. when the heck was it last 27 inches, 2006 maybe? - but I know 5 years ago it was 30 inches - and topped out at 34. Seriously?!?
My gut.. aka The Buddah Belly - 5 years ago it was still flat. Essentially it's a boob below the waist all on it's own, and it's miserable.
My hips.. I think 38 inches used to be the norm, then 40 seemed the norm. They topped out at 44 inches, which gives lots of room to sit on.
Okay so yes I took pictures before starting, even made a video.. but whether or not those ever get shown will largely (okay pun intended) depend on how successful this is. Ever the Optimistic Pessimist.
HOWEVER.. After just 3 Days of eliminating Dairy, Eggs, Gluten, Corn, Soy, Peanuts and Sugar... my waist, Buddah Belly AND hips (no not the boobs) - were all down an INCH and A HALF!! Whoa!!
I also became aware that the joint pain was maybe 20% improved.
I had a real waist again, my torso was looking like the old me I knew - and this with ONLY THREE DAYS?!?!?
I'm Sold!
Still Morphing (Pre-getting the book):
Since I hadn't got the book yet to know specifically the correct way to do the 21 day elimination challenge.. I decided it was "okay" to cheat a little here and there. Besides, it wasn't "Official" yet (my excuse), and I did have a FEW foods to still get out of the house - so eating them to get rid of them seemed like a testing ground to see if I porked back up right?
I porked back up.
Was it the dairy, the corn, or the gluten? Dunno yet, but probably all of it.
Definitely dairy - but I can only pinpoint that one from knowing I had lost inches yet a second time, then had one Starbucks latte with 2% milk. Hello Buddah Belly.
Another Shocker:
I love a glass of wine with my dinner.. it's my little pleasure in life - yet Houston we may have a problem.
With the elimination of the 7 Naughty Foods, I was steadily becoming more pain free, unless I'd been cheating. The biggest awakening came with a particularly good pain-reduced day, then having one glass of wine with dinner. Within an hour there was A LOT of joint inflammation and painful to get up off the couch. No Bueno!!
Say it isn't So!!! Not my wine!!! It's not one on the 7 Naughty List!
This will obviously require more testing.
Getting to The Macrobiotic - Paleo - Virgin - way of eating:
I haven't got into the Macrobiotic book just yet, but I like what I do know so far..
I got squirreled by The Virgin Diet concept. I do feel I will morph (there's that word again) over to Macrobiotic, once I figure out from the Virgin Diet 21 day elimination program what exactly are my trigger issues with food.
I know The Virgin Diet is a several step process, so it will actually take longer than 21 days - but it requires you to keep a journal - and my handwriting is terrible. Hence this Blog.
The Paleo Diet I noticed in the bookstore that first trip.. but have not yet picked up a book on it. I have since found out that a bouncy gal at my work has used it with much success, and it is what took her from partial chunky monkey to knockout gorgeous. If I could just get her to stop bouncing when she walks...
The Verdict:
I know the Paleo diet is WAY too extreme for me at this moment. I'm at the beginning of this learning process. I can only imagine though that once I get through the next couple months, that the Paleo diet will have morphed right onto my radar as great and become second nature to evolve to.
Essentially being pain-free is going to be what keeps me motivated, as will seeing my body get back to what I consider normal. I'm looking at all food in a new way now, and see it as friendly to my body - or danger. Obviously the "healthy" way I was eating, was sabotaging my system - creating the joint pain and the abdomen swelling.
The Adventure has begun.
